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protowilson:

betterbemeta:

This tea is awful. It’s fucking disgusting. Don’t believe that lazy shit idyllic pastoral landscape on the goddamn cardboard box. It’s a damn lie and if you drink this tea you’ll know the heart of minty darkness

Like OK I appreciate that it tries to prepare you for whats inside by a cute picture on the box. Fresh green mint leaves, and some candy cane sticks to get you in that shitty assfaced Christmas mood. Look it’s even tied with a repugnant little red bow. fuck this tea.

So if you open the box and immediately steep a cup prepare to get one of those cute lil candy canes up your FUCKING NOSE and in your FUCKING EYES because this shit doesn’t know personal space in the same way a demon from hell doesn’t know a loving God.

I hope you like drinking your throat lozenges because here’s a blistering stream an actual menthol golem would piss down your fucking throat while you gag on its candy-striped wiener. 

So you lock this shit in a box for 3 months while you recover from the worst toothpaste-flavored blowjob of your life and maybe get yourself together again. You recover. You move on. Things are looking pretty up and you think back, well maybe that godforsaken tea didn’t really taste like a peppermint Siberia. So you make a cup like the foolish piece of shit you are

and you’re right, but so wrong about the character and nature of your mistake you might as well star in Greek tragedy. You pathetic bag of bollocks.

because in the months its been locked in a top-shelf tomb the life and vehement mint-based hatred for the physical world has withered and desiccated out of its soulless teabag husks.

Now what you have got in your fucking unfortunate mug is a hot steaming cup of fuck you that tastes like the inside of the birch tree on the fucking box, or maybe Santa’s tears mixed with mummy dust, or midwinter leaf litter a vaguely minty dog only rolled in once.

The aftertaste stinks of wax. Why wax? Because it wants to remind you that you’re the kid who ate birthday candles in first grade, that’s why. And every single other bad decision you now regret.

fuck this tea. fuck it, it tastes like a hollow  mannequin of a tea, hot leaf swill unfit to fertilize even fake fucking flowers.Maybe you could tan leather in it. I don’t fucking know but get it away from me and the human race. Fucking shoot it at the moon where it belongs with all of the other celestial fucking seasonings. fuck

I never thought I’d reblog a tea review but here we are.

khaleesi-of-baker-street:

tardis-mainframe:

wsbuckybarnes:

stylinwho:

image

omg this reminds me of the most adorable time when my friend had leaked in art class and she was tearing up a bit and this guy who’s usually quiet but is judged as a jerk because his friends tend to be jerks gets up and throws red paint on the side of her shorts and on his own shorts and throws a couple of other colors in too and starts a mini paint war and other people joined in and i nearly cried because of how cute it was

Hold on to those men and never let go

(Source: periodandbonerstories)

koblala:

im-in-lesbians-with-tony-perry:

soliloquyn:

therothwoman:

Can we talk about how Hairspray is a story where a not-conventionally-attractive girl gets the hot guy in the end without having to Become “Pretty.” Because we need more stories like that.

It’s also story about breaking down the barriers of racism which we also need more of.

And it’s about nice hair and cheesy dance moves, more things we need more of

It’s a movie where John Travolta plays a chic, which we need more of

(Source: rouxx)

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